Desert

I wait in the now deserted café. The aroma of French vanilla, hazelnut, and cinnamon fill the air around me as my anxiety grows with each passing minute. I watch as the clock on the wall ticks to three. My thoughts imagine scenarios of him getting stuck in traffic or his car breaking down. Maybe that’s why he’s late. My heart is pounding in my chest. I watch the silhouettes passing by the café window, hoping and praying one of them could be my date. I look at my phone again. Maybe he called and I didn’t hear it but once again the empty screen flashes before my eyes. He hadn’t replied since last night when he asked me to go out with him. I send a text. This is my tenth one so far. I flip my phone over, not wanting to look at the screen again or to see my own desperate face reflect on its surface.

But as the clock ticks to four and the café starts filling up again, I realize something’s wrong. I realize that I was just stood up. I can’t bring myself to send another text message for fear. Fear of no reply. I finish my cup before bolting out into the cold dark streets, rain pouring profoundly down like a waterfall.


 

Connected

We are all Connected in some way. It’s a strong bond to one another. May it be just a small conversation about the time or the weather. Or just a brush on the shoulder as you pass them by on a busy street. My connection to her was deeper. It was the connection of love and friendship. Though I never felt the same way about her as she did to me, she never gave up hope. There was always some sliver of hope that I would finally say yes when she, again, asked me out on a date to which I always replied no. She didn’t understand – couldn’t understand – that I only liked her as a friend and a comrade.

We’ve grown up together. We were best friends since we were in diapers crawling around my old living room, trying to eat some piece of moldy cat food we’ve found along our journey. But as senior year started to come to an end, I didn’t really know how to tell her. It wasn’t a break up yet it was. I was pulling away; or at least have been pulling away from her for a long time, since sophomore year.

I looked at her from across the room; her curly red hair flowing down her back and concentration chiseled across her face. She looked back at me, her face slowly etching on a smile. I quickly turned back to the history teacher as he droned on about the American revolution and how it impacted the lives of the people. I couldn’t concentrate. I knew what I was going to do. A part of me felt horrible for it but the other part felt happy like a heavy weight was being lifted off my shoulders and chest.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the bell rang. I quickly grabbed my books and bolted for the door before anyone else. I stopped outside the door. Flocks of students rushed out with Mr. Henry screeching out tonight’s homework assignment. She lingered behind, waiting patiently for the kids to exit before leaving the room herself. She seemed surprised to see me waiting for her which fueled my anxiety over this decision. I took deep breaths as she stopped in front of the door. Before I even let her say anything I blurted it out.

“Leave me alone. Don’t talk to me anymore.” I close my eyes, walking away from her before I regret what I’ve done and take it all back. This was the end for both of us. And this is how I had to end it. Maybe, years later through divorce and children and jobs and college, we’d meet again. Maybe we’d be different. Maybe.

Playful

Playful

It was one of those hot summer days. The ones that start off warm with a bit of a breeze that can chill the skin even though the sun’s out. The one that turns into a soul sucking heat wave by twelve o’clock, that soaked your personality and your well-being. The one that left behind a shell of your former self – the once playful presence to a sweaty angry person that no one wants to be around. The destructor of energy and oxygen; those hot summer days.

Sitting in a Volkswagon with the sun’s rays beating down on it creating a vacuum of heat bothered me to no end. My body was littered with sweat to the point I had to wipe it from my eyes. I looked in the small compact mirror only to see a disheveled individual with frizzy black hair sticking all over the place and mascara running down my face as if I’ve been crying. I closed it quickly. Not wanting another look at myself and the dire situation forming on my face. To be honest, I didn’t want to bother with it all. I didn’t have it in me to scour my purse looking for a napkin. I didn’t want to bother fixing my makeup so I’d look at least somewhat decent.

I looked back at the gas station. Ronald’s attention was still on the young blonde girl who was trying to buy some snacks. They both leaned their head back in laughter. Ronald’s hand was touching the girl’s arm. It was nauseating to see. See, the hot sun was affecting me, infecting me with anger and annoyance. Why was he taking so long? Why isn’t he moving fast enough? How long does it take to pay for gas? Minutes went by. He went in at twelve and now it was twelve-twenty. I hopped in the driver’s side of the Volkswagen and blared the horn, startling not only the two individuals deeply immersed in courtship but also the gas attendant and the other poor sweaty customers pumping gas.

I waved at him. I couldn’t help but laugh as his face turned from a smiling, bubbly fool trying to hook up to a deeply pissed off guy who just lost his opportunity. He went back to the attendant and paid for the gas before bolting out the door. He approached the driver’s side. He leaned his arms and body in the driver’s window, his frustration and annoyance still etched on his face and a smile still etched across mine’s.

“Move over.” He commanded. I only shook my head before rolling the window up, his body leaned back from the process. He raised his hands up before walking around to the passenger’s side. He tried opening the door only to find it conveniently and accidently locked. I started up the car, it’s engine blocking out Ronald’s erratic voice and the curse words that was pouring out of him.

I didn’t even glance at him as I drove out of the gas station toward the highway, knowing what the end result would be once I turned around to pick him back up. I was ready for it. I was ready for the constant streams of curse words and insulting comments about both my looks and life choices. It would all be worth it in the end. I laughed a little out loud before entering the highway.

 

Sky

[I didn’t get the chance to post this up for The Daily Post writing prompt. But here it is and I hope you enjoy.]

I could feel the rays of the sun – high in the sky to show its mid-afternoon glow – scorching my bare back and shoulders. Sweat poured off my body like water as I tried to hook the bait yet again. My hands quivered from the constant effort. I let out a long sigh, letting both the hook and bait fall to the ground. I walked away, leaving my fishing rod and the now rotting catch behind. My body felt heavy and my mind was boggled from the incessant heat. I squinted my eyes as I tried to make out the person approaching across the grassy field. From afar, it looked menacing and dark. A shadow in the shape of a man or at least a human being. I could feel the fear rising up into my heart. My spine chilled. The closer we approached each other, the more I could make out the shadow. I let out a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I bent over. I couldn’t move any further.

“Johnny. Hey, Johnny boy.” A man’s familiar voice ringed in the almost silent afternoon air. I tried not to look at the shadow for I knew what it was. What it used to be. I stayed hunched over. Shiny polished shoes glistening when the sun hits its surface and long brown britches too big for the small man, I knew who it was. He was long gone. Dead in the ground, at least supposedly. I closed my eyes quickly, praying for the thing to go away. Praying for the devil the spare my soul. And when I opened my eyes, it was gone. Gone back to the mysterious and dark place it called home.

The Liebster Award

I was nominated by Simply.Fernanda for this award! Thank you so much for the nomination! Okay, below is my response to the questions and I’ve included my own questions. I hope you all like this post. I did enjoy writing this and it’s a great honor and opportunity to be nominated.

Rules:

  • Post 11 facts about yourself
  • Answer 11 questions from the person that nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 blogs with under 200 followers and ask them 11 questions (let them know you nominated them!)
  • Post 11 questions for the nominees.

11 Facts about me:

1: I am an Aries.

2: I love to read books and write.

3: I love fitness and healthy lifestyle. I love eating healthy and have started this journey a little over a year now. It’s been a struggle but I continue on to hopefully be the healthiest I can be. I love zumba and dancing in general (most specifically Belly Dancing which is my passion and I’ve been doing it for five years). I love Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. And I highly recommend DailyBurn (such a fantastic website dedicated to exercise. There are literally new workouts everyday with their DB 365 and it’s live!)

4: I’m obsessed over YouTube and spend the majority of my time on there. I originally wanted to make videos but then I realized I’m way too shy to record and I can’t really edit videos well either.

5: I am a recent college grad!

6: I am a foodie! I love many different foods and I love trying out different cuisines. I’ve tried sushi which I found it to taste amazing. I love pizza.

7: I am a history buff. Since long long time ago when The Mummy movie came out on VHS, I loved history. This movie compelled me into be a history buff. I’ve spent countless hours at the library or on the computer searching up anything and everything about ancient Egypt. This search lead me to ancient Rome and Greece.

8: I love listening to music, Melanie Martinez is my all-time favorite artist along with Rising Appalachia and Carolina Chocolate Drops. My music taste varies.

9: I am a movie lover and my favorite genre is horror. My favorite is The Conjuring.

10: I am a gamer! I play all kinds of video games but I love playing The Sims 4, Silent Hill and The Wolf Among Us. I am horrible at Call of Duty but I am fantastic at Mass Effect and Tomb Raider.

11: And finally, I love cooking.

11 questions for the people I’ve nominated: 

1: If you could live/visit anywhere in the world for a week, where would you like to go?

2: If you could travel back in time, what time period would you go to and why?

3: Why did you start blogging?

4: Do you recall an embarrassing/frightening/happy/sad dream you’ve had?

5: What book/movie are you currently watching/reading or are obsessed over?

6: What author influenced you or your writing?

7: What type of blogs do you tend to follow?

8: Are you an animal lover?

9: Rock or Classical?

10: What is your favorite food?

11: Are you into fandom and fan fiction?

11 questions for the me:

1: What is your favorite childhood memory? One of my favorite childhood memories is receiving my first harry potter merchandise. I was about 12 or 13 and I had gotten a small harry potter deck of cards. I loved it so much.

 

2: What inspires you to write? Many things inspires me to write. I can watch a movie and get a vague idea that won’t go away and thus I have to write it out. I can be listening to music and also just walking down the road. But what also inspires me to write is the need to put my imaginations and my thoughts out on paper. I am an avid day dreamer and so writing helps me put words to the dreams I have.

 

3: (From other bloggers) what has been your favorite or most memorable piece of writing? Well, my favorite has to be a vampire story that I’ve been working on for a year now. It started out as a short story and turned into something more. Right now, it’s a novel or a novella whichever one it turns out to be.

 

4: What is your favorite quote and why? Marilyn Monroe’s saying was “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” I really like this quote because it’s, to me, honest and it’s the story of my life and possibly everyone else’s lives. People deserve someone who will love them with their good and their bad side. Loving someone for who they truly are.

 

5: What movie/cartoon/show character do you identify the most with?  I like Neal from Attachments by Rainbow Rowell. The reason why is because of his personality. I can totally relate to how he reacts and acts in situations.

 

6: If you had only 12 hours to do anything that you please and have always wanted, after those 12 hrs you will never be able to do that/those things ever again, what would it/they be? I’d go sky diving, horse back riding, and eat as much junk food as I could possibly tolerate.

 

7: Do you believe in supernatural things? Why or why not? Hm, this is a tough question. Even if I haven’t seen supernatural things happening, I kind of believe in the supernatural or paranormal because I believe there is more out there that we don’t understand or we can’t see. What is on the other side? Is it nothing or is it heaven or hell? We don’t know.

 

8: What motivates/inspires you to do what you do in life? Many things to be honest; family and friends for one. They inspire me to continue doing what I have to do. Especially graduate from college. Readers and other writers online help me and motivate me to continously improve my writing.

 

9: What is one superpower you would like to have and how would you use this power? I would like to have Storm’s powers because then I can control the weather. Make is sunny whenever I want to or snow.

 

10: What is a bizarre talent of yours? Well, let’s see. For me, I can do The Hunger Games whistle. Haha.

 

11: Which song do you feel the most connected to or feel that it describes you? I will have to say Crybaby by Melanie Martinez because I wear my heart on my sleeve so I connect a lot with the song. Though I am a secret crybaby inside. And the most important part about it is, that it’s a good song with a great chorus. I repeat the chorus almost every single day.

Angry

Wrath, Anger. This emotion has power. It has the power to take over one’s own well-being and senses. This is fact. This is the dark truth. It’s why religion named it a sin for all the chaos it creates. And as I sit in front of my masterpiece, I come to terms with this newfound knowledge. My heart is Angry yet my mind is filled with regret. How could I have let myself come to this? Sitting here under the cover of darkness near his car made me realize what I was doing was wrong. I know he hurt me; cheated on me, lied to me but this was too much. It’s come too far. I’ve gone too far. His once immaculately polished new car was riddle with cuts from my keys and spray paint spelling ‘Jerk’ in cursive lettering. I can hear the police sirens in the distance. He’s standing outside in the lawn, phone in one hand and a bat in another. Fear masked his once smiling face. I will myself to get up, to get moving even if I’m already identified. I didn’t think this through. My legs is wobbly with the effort and the possibly of capture. I sprint for a safe haven, for any place that would hide me and my crime. I didn’t even get half way down the street before the police car came to a screeching halt right behind me. I slow down before completely stopping. I was done. I didn’t need to turn around to know the officer was getting out of the car, reciting the Miranda rights. How will I explain this to my parents?

Blank Stares

There was a Blank expression on her face as she tried to listen to the young woman drown on about the latest celebrity gossip, something she used to find entertaining. She closed her eyes tightly, the incessant pounding of her head becoming worse by the minute. She could care less about the conversation nor the young woman she was with. This brunch study session was becoming a little bit more unbearable as she sat there in the increasingly busy cafeteria; with its buzzing sounds of laughter, clinging dishes, chairs scrapping across the floors and diverse voices steeped in conversations. Her name was Jessica and it was the late night reading sessions and lack of sleep that caused this ceaseless pain in her head. Coffee did not help. Ibuprofen only made it worse. No, to Jessica, she believed sleep would help. But another part of her believed otherwise. The other part, the part that was nagging her the most, wanted her to finish the book. This fantasy novel that contained five hundred pages of fantastical magical beings, evil villains, beautiful hero and heroines, and a prophesy that called for the destruction of all humanity. She’s worked hard to finish that novel, a month really. Through dull shifts at her swanky coffee shop job and the almost endless array of papers and readings for college classes, she finally has come to the end. Well, almost. With the incentive to finish and a promise to herself with ice cream and cupcakes, she took her leave. No farewells, no goodbyes. She was gone, back to a strange and exciting world far different from her own.

Fork

A fork in the road. A split in paths. If I go one way, I’ll always wonder what the other path held for me. What if I could go back? What if I could go a different route with my life? That’s what I did. I reversed time. I started from the beginning and I regret doing so because now I can’t fix it. The life I lived before is gone. At first everything was fine when I first went back. My family were together and my life was perfect.


They sat side by side, coveted by darkness with only the lights from the screen shining on them. Their gazes were glued to the screen, to some rom-com I had no interest in seeing but went anyway. They were holding hands with a smile plastered on their faces. I couldn’t help but notice them. It was almost as if they were on a date and I was the third wheel. I quickly felt bad. I turned to the screen, trying to think of now and what the new future will hold. Yet I couldn’t shake the goose chills that seemed to form all on my arms and neck.

Something was wrong, something was wrong with the screen. Faces, their faces were distorted. Contorting into shapes before forming into a blur of what used to be eyes, noses, lips. They were formless, shapeless. No expressions on their faces. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. My breathe caught in my throat. The audience around me were also strange, yet frightening familiar. Their faces were also nothing more than a blur, a sick reminiscent of what used to be a human. They seemed to be staring at me, their faces shifted to my direction. I bolted from my seat, heading out into the lobby. Blank, Faceless people. The cashiers taking money from customers, the maintenance crew sweeping the persistently dirty floors, and the movie goers walking in and out of different auditoriums, all of them were the same. They, too , were staring at me. I was sure of it. I let out a small gasp before faintness overtook me.

(This short snippet caught me by surprise actually. I didn’t really expect the story to turn out like this. Please let me know what you think.)

 

An Introduction to Coffee and Books

Welcome everyone, to my very first blog. I’m pretty new to blogging and also new to wordpress.

For me, writing is something I love and cherish. Just something about the words on paper, an author’s perspective, their imagination and their world just calls to me. It’s almost magical really. It inspired me to write myself.

I’ll tell you a little bit about myself. I’m a recent college grad. Close to my mid twenties (Time flies by so fast!) I’ve been reading and writing since the age of twelve (I even remember my first short story which was a ghost story about a girl living in an old Victorian home!). I love watching movies and playing video games. And I spend way too much time on YouTube (booktube is a fantastic subgenre on there). I love learning about history. And I’m slowly formulating my own genealogy of my family.

My goal for the blog is to well…just write. I’ve been dealing with a lot of things (life in general) and I’ve come across something that’s the awful, dreaded obstacle any writer goes through; writer’s block. I cringe just writing that phrase.With this blog, I hope to hone in my skills. To both practice and establish myself as a writer. I want to write just about any and everything. From book and movie reviews to original works and historical facts. I hope to participate in The Daily Posts ‘challenges. Hopefully, I’ll have a schedule for blogging. So, with that being said, I really hope you enjoy my blog.

Grain

I watch as the cars pass by under streams of rain. The café noises surrounding me are comforting, inviting. My heart is heavy. I usually take everything with a Grain of salt. Every conversation I’ve had with loved ones, friends, and professors; from the crass remarks toward my questionable actions to long enduring speeches about plans for the future. The endless lectures about careers, education, children, marriage, money. I always listen with the smallest trace of skepticism each talk, each lecture that comes my way. I pull my hands away from my coffee cup, the sheer heat was too much to bear. These thoughts always leave me questioning everything. So I wonder what the future will hold for me.  

(This is just a work of fiction. Something I came up with for the daily prompts.)